Does the idea of shrinking loops really have a point?

521754_3332741791288_925427740_n

In the context of circular economy, shrinking loops means going beyond closing material cycles and towards reducing resources throughput. But I wonder: is this really a key aspect for circular economy to achieve sustainability? The bottleneck of sustainability is really the rate of resource extraction? Or is there more to be digged in this space?Read More »

Advertisements

Reminding myself to be able to continue

I have chosen to do a PhD because I wanted to be a researcher, because I believed that I would only have the credentials to do so if I had a PhD. Also, I wanted to have autonomy to do whatever I wanted. To go and save the world. Autonomy to start the research line I wanted without anybody questioning my capacity and legitimacy.

I had forgotten about it! Omg! Currently, I was stuck on thinking that nobody needs a PhD to do whatever he/she wants to. Especially now that I’ve found out what really matters: the individual change from the inside out.

It has been really hard to keep my motivation for finishing the PhD. But yeah, it is true. It makes life easier. Especially if I am about questioning the common sense.

Since the beginning, I have always knew that being an academic was not a primary goal. I never dreamed about being a professor. I have always craved for being a catalyst to make the world a better place. To make a difference.

Now I remember that this was what I used to say when people asked me about what were my plans with the PhD. <Yeah! This is it!>

It is amazing how I got lost in my way up to here! How I started building my vision according to external expectations. What a challenge it is to keep myself centered. Integrated. Whole. Centered into what I believe. Into what I started building. Into my true life purpose.

I got lost in the waves of hatred. Anger. Fear. I disconnected myself from my self. And now I am here, struggling to have strength to finish this PhD. Giving no value to it at all. Doing things as if I were a prisoner obliged to do heavy work. I had lost touch with my inner conscience that it was never about the PhD itself. It was only about making life easier.

So I don’t have to make this PhD a cross I have to carry. It is not a cross. I am not a martir for doing a PhD. It was never about it. I misled it in the process. The PhD is not my pinnacle. And I knew it since when I started it. But I misled it in the process. I was seduced with the illusion of prestige. I went with the flow of blaming the others, of being a victim… putting more value and weight in this PhD than it deserves.

It is not a cross. I am not a martir.

It is only a page in my life book. I just need to turn it. And move on.

My pinnacle is beyond.

270209_2113950962279_6397256_n

When you expect a carousel but find out a roller coaster.

 

If you want still waters,

Please do not come near.

In this bold waterfall,

They are likely to disappear.

I live with intensity

‘Cause I know I deserve it all.

I can feel my amazingness,

When I see you silence and withdraw.

But I can also feel your amazingness

When I look deep in your eyes

Their grace and shrewdness

Are about to take me to the skies.

So take your time and take a breathe.

Unwinding slowly goes the universe.