Eating or creating?

I don’t know if it happens with a lot of people, but for me it is becoming almost impossible to eat while I am working. And also to eat when I am about to work.

I can not focus well on what I am doing. I feel that I am not giving my maximum because I have to divide the attention between eating and working (writing, reading, programming, thinking, feeling the creation). And I am arriving to a point where I really ponder if it is worth to eat considering how concentrated I am in my work and what I could get done if only I would not stop to eat in that specific moment.  My approach is to stop and imagine the potential outcomes of both choices. Sometimes I do prefer not to eat.

I am arriving to a point where I feel relief every saturday because I know the next day is Sunday – my fasting day – and I know I will be able to have a lot of work done simply because I will not have to bother with eating. It is just keeping hydration with water and focusing on my writing, reading, thinking, modeling, meditating… (Omg. It is such a relief…)

The thing is that I like to eat. I like to feel the food flavour in my mouth. I feel pleasure through the flavour of food and the sensations that eating makes me feel. So, it works like a scape from the problems. From the “to do’s”. And as such, many times I overeat. Not to think. Not to worry. To feel so overwhelmed that there’s no space for my existential issues…

But also, it lets no space for my creativity either. 

My brain speed slows down. I get sleepy… I think about the same single thing a lot of times. I re-read the same text snippet over and over again…. That is: I get dispersed.

And it might be for something very straightforward: my body is indeed multitasking. So, the individual performance of each activity reduces in order for it to accomplish both digesting and creating.

It all comes down to that I think it is a waste of time. Because I know I would be far more productive if I were with an empty stomach – but also not hungry… [I am craving for being fed only by prana one day! XD!].

So, what is the balance? Or better said, what is MY balance?

I am trying to figure it out.

I have also discovered that eating after 10pm is terrible for the quality of my sleep. So, I am fixing 6pm as my dinner time. It works well because at this time my eyes are already tired from working and also because I can easily have 2 hours for digestion before livestreaming my daily meditation session (#MeditatingWithViqui).

These 2 hours of digestion are very precious to me because I have a very slow digestion speed. It takes ages for a peanut seed to be processed by my body!! XD!

In the morning, I am focusing on the smoothies. They make me feel satisfied throughout the morning. As they are very light, and my stomach is empty when I have them, they do not annoy on my work.

In turn, the lunch time is a challenge. I have to balance very well the amount of food so that I eat enough to feel satisfied throughout the afternoon but not too much that it makes me feel overwhelmed before coming back to work. Also, it is a challenge to respect my “satisfaction threshold”. If I am talking while I have lunch, I am easily distracted and end up eating too much, what compromises my productivity in the afternoon.

So, there are still some “channels” to tune to find out what works better for myself. But I am happy to be on my way. Being able to write this down in such a clear and well comprehended way is already a major achievement to me. ❤




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