Without knowing why , my life journey was always that of helping people and respecting Nature.
Since I was a child I was concerned about the planet state. I was taking garbage from the beaches by myself. I was talking to the plants in my neighborhood. It is so funny to remember all of this. Because it is the proof that I was born ready. I brought kindness with me. I was talking with all my neighboors. Greeting them consistently everyday even when they did not respond. I found that fun. And I knew I was doing my part. Since I was a child.
Always unstopppable. Always running. Always kind. Always loving and crying with elderly people. Always crying with movies about humanity, friendship, love and service – like Patch Adams-Love is contagious, A Time to Kill, The Green Mile, Almost Famous… and so on and so forth (like Chomsky says hehehe). But I have always been sensitive. Always treating my grandma with love and care even seeing that she treated my cousins with more kindness and care than myself. I did not care. I knew. I came with this knowledge. That I was doing my part. And that my consistency would eventualy change their behaviour towards myself. And it was so true. My neighboors. My grandma. They all changed. They became kinder. The neighboors greeted me. And I was calm. I was myself. Without knowing what it meant.
I also did not care for betrails, I was in peace. ‘Cause I knew I had done my part. I was loyal to myself.
I used to care to the bullings my schoolmates did. I beated them. This was what my mom tought me. My Diva. 🙂 And this was what I did. But these bulling never had to much weight in my life. I was always happy. Smiling. Unstoppable. Doing trillion of things. English, voleyball, swimming, dance, karate, capoeira, running, belly dance, artistic gym etc… hahahaha my friends used to say was training for triathlon… hahaha Omg. I have to thank my parents. ❤
I am writing all this because I have been realizing lately that I came ready for this life episode. I am light. I am sensitive. I am loving and kind. I am cute. I am emotional. I am an empath. But I did know it. I just was it because I did not know how to be different. And then, as I did not have the conciousness that there was nothing wrong with me and that I just had to follow my purpose and life would always be abundant, I let the scarcity mentality get a hold on me. And I got myself in my shadowest moments. Full of hate. Suffering. Blaming the others for my situations. Jealous. Judgemental. Omg… yeah. Living in a constat state of competition with others. Being greedy. Omg. Seeing enemies everywhere. Creating enemies where there were none. Turning my negative beliefs into my experiences.
It was hard. Very hard. Very suffering. Very tense. Very distressing.
But it was necessary.
Life and its divine order.
All of those moments were the pathway for my awakening. For rediscovering myself. For starting to live in the present moment.
And I am thankful.
Now I know what I am here for. Now I know what is my existing experience all about.
It is all about reconnecting with myself. Restoring the love for myself. By increasing the knowledge about myself day by day.
As Ralph Smart says, “Life is a learning experience”. I am here to learn how to regain my inner power and to help other people for doing the same. “We are powerful beyond measure” (Ralph Smart).
And now, just now I visualize perfectly what my pathway is all about.
When I saw that William McDonough and Michael Braungart’s Cradle to Cradle documentary in Management TV down in 1999, it was like I had found my life purpose. Everything else lost meaning to me. I just want to work closing cycles. Turning Earth in a healthier place. A planet without pollution. Turning the producing processes into non-polluting production systems. This became my goal. And it was my main goal in life until 2013. When I realized that there were much worse issues going on in planet Earth than pollution. There was racism. There were wars. There was inequality.
Being very sincere, I have always been an advocate of equality, having simpathy with socialism and so on… but these had never been the motives why I woke up everyday. The planet Earth was. So, I was aware of these issues and doing my part but not passionate. Until 2013. The year where my life started to change.
I started to fight against racism. I started to see enemies everywhere. I externalized my power. Blaming others. Blaming history. Blaming white people. Blaming my professors.
I started to disperse my power – I mean, my attention (the main human resource for realization) – in racism, scarcity, blame, sexism, victim mentality. I even created a group of black women doing masters or PhD in STEM… But the truth was that I did not know who I was (despite I though I did) nor what I was here for. I lost my passion to closing cycles. To the claims for sustainability.
In this meantime I won a prize in Russia, I lived in Spain, I went to Japan, to Chile, to Venezuela, to Colombia, to UK, to Switzerland… and now I am in the Netherlands. But until very recently, I still did not know what I was here – in planet Earth – for. I had conversations with the minister of Science in Japan and with the president of the World Petroleum Council. Anyone would say that I have always been very successfull. And that I was born to be a leader… And this is true… if only I knew what I was here for.
To be very honest, I have never saw all this achievements as something incredibly amazing. My dearest friends and my family were always celebrating these achievements. Lifting me up. Cheerful. Amazed and happy by my life path. And I was normal. hahahaha I had never felt a sense of “Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! This is it!!!! I will embrace it and do that and that and that and that and that!” hahaha It is true. I was never incredibly fully greatly excited about any of these moments I had described above. Of course, my ego felt flattered. It was good to be able to go to so many places. Talk to so many people. And “relevant” people hahahahah – as if anyone else was not – …. but very deep inside of me I did know what to do with all of that. Not even how to make money from that. hahaha
My life has always been purpose-driven. I have always done what made sense from inside and life gave me what I needed. It was never hard. Even the uncountable nights without sleeping because of the studies. They were never hard. I was always feeling good. I loved to study. To learn. To succeed in school. But still, what for?
So, now I am in a moment in my quest that I am really starting to grab what is this Viqui existence all about. Just after I started to do the search within, the world outside started making sense to me.
And this is it:
Nothing will ever be sustainable unless the transformations also occur from the inside out. From the within of each individual to the external world we experience.
Both the outer and the inner levels are important. And, in my perspective, the inner level is even more important as it will assure sustainability. The inner self is the baseline, is the foundation of the permanence of any solution towards a more sustainable society.
More thoughts on this later on.